Filed under: Episodes, Quotes, reviews, Season 1 Episodes
If you have read my reviews…which I hope a few actually have…you will see that I like to break them up between families.
The Dunphys are encounter problems in the house when Phil decides to meet his ex-girl friend over to the house after she reconnected with him via Facebook. The laughs started whenPhil says that he dated other women besides mom.
Haley: “Oh my God, gross, I can’t even picture you with a woman.”
Claire: “Thank you.”
Phil: “Trust me, I had plenty of fun in my time. Then, I met your mom.”
Claire is obviously liking the idea of Phil meeting up with Denise for a bite to eat.
Claire: “Women in their 30s on the internet are like ninjas. They get in their little, black outfits and try to sneak their way into your marriage.”
Phil can see that so he invites her over to the house instead for drinks.
Alex and Luke are toying with each other throughout the episode. To get back for Luke earlier in the episode, Alex says that Luke was adopted and that the real reason Jay’s ex-girlfriend is coming over so he can meet his real mom. Luke leaves confused and Haley asks.
Haley: “Just because he called you a dork-to-dork salesman?”
Alex: “The empire strikes back.”
Once Denise arrives to the house she lays on the heavy advances toward Phil. When asking for directions to the bathroom out of earshot from Claire she asks.
Denise: “How are we going to do this?”
Phil: “I thought I’d just point at the door…,”
Denise: “Here’s a key to my hotel room.”
Denise then shoves the key card into his hand and leaves. Phil is left speechless and confused, classic Phil.
Claire doesn’t see the advances Denise is making on Phil. Alone in the kitchen Phil talks to Claire saying she wasn’t completely wrong.
Phil: “She wants me,”
Claire: “To do what?”
Phil: “It! ME!” “She bit the air right in front of me!”
Claire thinks he is crazy and leaves the room. Denise eventually gets frustrated that her advances, etc. aren’t working on Phil and leaves the house.
Jay comes into the house holding a inspirational framed poster that says “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” But Manny disagrees.
Manny: “Lots of stuff that doesn’t kill you makes you weaker.”
Jay tries to hang the frame with the saying in Manny’s room but it ends up falling into the Shel Turtlesteins tank killing him. He tries to cover up what really happened saying that a raccoon broke into the house and killed the turtle. Manny leaves his room heartbroken after identifying the body. Gloria realizing something is up confronts Jay.
Gloria: “You lie. I’m Columbian, I know a fake crime scene when I see one.”
Gloria says that he has to come clean and tell Manny what happened but Jay disagrees.
Jay: “It was an accident, I’ve been through this before. When Mitchell was nine, I was supposed to take care of his bird. It got out and flew into a fan. It was like a bloody pillow fight.”
He continues, “To this day, Mitchell looks at me, I see him thinking ‘that’s the guy who killed Flyza Minnelli.”
Gloria says that he will find out and Jay contends he won’t because he covered his tracks. When realizing the name of the bird Jay wonders how he didn’t realize that his son was gay.
Later that night when going to bed Gloria is still upset that Jay hasn’t said anything to Manny.
Gloria: “Hard to sleep on a bed of lies, huh, Jay?”
Jay finally gives up and approaches Manny in his room. Manny is already waiting for him and knows that Jay wasn’t telling truth. Manny is confused why he lied but Jay says it’s because they have a good thing going between them and didn’t want to mess it up.
A life change happens to Cameron and Mitchell when Mitchell realizes that he has been missing too much family time because of all the work his boss is asking him to do.
Mitchell: “He’s the suckiest suck of all time.”
One of the scenes that made me laugh the most was when Mitchell and Cameron were trying to reenact to see if Mitchell’s boss overheard him on the phone in the car next to him.
Mitchell: “I sort of had to shout.”
Cameron: “You had to what?”
Cameron: “A little bit louder now,”
Cameron: “A little bit louder now.”
Cameron: “Hey-hey-ay-ee-ay-ee!” – Cameron singing
Mitchell realizes that Cameron can hear him and thinks that he is screwed with his boss.
Mitchell confronts his boss at work that day and tells him can’t work there anymore because he is missing too much time at home. After he arrives home and tells Cameron that he quit is job he is excited they can experience Lily and her “firsts.” After they watch her intently and she doesn’t do anything interesting Mitchell starts to panic thinking he will try and get his job back.
Mitchell: “I am going to do what I am trained to do. I am going to lie, grovel, debase myself until I get what I want. I am a lawyer, damn it.”
Cameron helps to calm him down and says they will be ok and figure something out.
Modern Family delivered another laugh filled episode with “Fear.”
For me the favorite part was with the Dunphy family. Phil and Luke went on a “treasure hunting” expedition under the house not knowing what they would get themselves into. In awesome Phil fashion he tries to play off being afraid of the dark and what might be under the house with jokes.
Luke: When you stuck your head in, you screamed a little.
Phil: I told you. That was the house settling.
Phil: We’re like Ponce de Leon and his son… little Ponce.
Luke: His name is Ponce? He’d get made fun of at my school. They’d probably call him “Pants.”
Also in the Dunphy family was Claire taking her daughter Haley to get her driving license after two previous tries. Some good laughs occurred when she was hoping that the teacher wouldn’t recognize her but he did and referred to her as “two strikes.” Then there was Alex who was afraid to go to the school dance because she thought that no one would ask her to dance.
With Cameron and Mitchell their fear ends up being that their daughter Lily said “mommy” as her first word. They invited their pediatrician over for brunch because they wanted to make sure she liked Lily. But Cameron was trying too hard and giving many compliments.
Mitchell to Cameron: “Take it down a notch, we’re trying to make a friend, not initiate a three-way.”
They thought maybe it was because she grew up with females and when she was being held by an Asian doctor it just came out but it was later discovered that Lily had been hearing a doll that was given to them by friends the said “mommy.”
Cameron: “We can’t ignore the giant panda in the room. ” after Lily calls her Asian pediatrician Mommy
Mitchell: “Her first word was every gay father’s worst nightmare.”
For the Delgado and Pritchett family (Jay, Gloria and Manny) it was all about the apparent fear of Manny and roller coasters. He didn’t want to go to party where there would be rides but his mother ended up tricking him into going fishing at a pier where there was also a coaster. She ended up saying you have to face your fears and go for it. Manny ended up the trick was on him but decided to ride anyway.
Manny: “Wake up old man, she’s trying to get me on the roller coaster. ” – to Jay, about Gloria’s plot to get him on the roller coaster.
Gloria: Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue, but now your eyebrows have grown back and your salmon is legendary!
Jay: I could have guessed he’d have trouble with roller coasters. That kid gets woozy at barbershops when they spin his chair towards the mirror.
Here is part two of my favorite “Modern Family” quotes with Mitchell and Cameron. As before if you don’t see your favorite, feel free to post it.
Mitchell: I had to settle.
Cameron: Well, your mom might think so, but some think I’m a catch. – My Funky Valentine
Cameron: Oh sure, when you’re gay you just walk around giving butt bumps to everybody. It’s like a high-five — it’s a low two. – Moon Landing
Cameron: My dream for him is that one day, he’ll be on the Supreme Court.
Mitchell: Why Cam?
Cameron: So at parties I can tell people my partner is one of the Supremes – Moon Landing
Cameron: I’m like a big runaway charity truck and Mitchell is my off-ramp full of safety gravel. – Not In My House
Cameron: You know people are going to stare, they’re not used to seeing one clown in a car. – Fizbo
Mitchell: My gaydar is never wrong and it is pinging like we’re at a bathhouse. – 15 Percent
Mitchell: (on burning flowers and Cameron) Look at that, two things flaming at once. – 15 Percent
Cameron: I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy and I dare you to not like me. – Come Fly With Me
Mitchell: Ahhh we have been together for, guh, five– five years now? And uh we– we just decided that we really wanted to have a baby. So we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate but–
Cameron: Then we figured, they’re already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant?
Mitchell: Don’t think so.
Cameron: No thank you, ick! – Pilot
I have scoured season recaps and found my favorite Modern Family quotes from so far this season. I will post them by “family” starting with The Dunphy’s. Obviously I couldn’t fit all them into this blog so if you have any favorites of your own please add them.
Phil: We raised our kids right. One of them will come forward, or the other two will rat them out. – Undeck The Halls
Phil: That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial. – Not In My House
Phil: Luke, that is very offensive to women. Your mom works very hard, just now she works for us. – Moon Landing
Claire: I have this theory that Phil purposely installs complicated technology so he has a reason to talk to me like I’m a child. – 15 Percent
Claire: Luke already is the best at something. Being my son … That sounded a lot less lame in my head. – En Garde
Haley: Hey mom?
Haley: Can I have forty dollars for lunch?
Claire: Forty dollars?
Haley: I also need a book for school.
Claire: A book?
Haley: I want a dress.
Claire: Do you have any idea what a bad liar you are?
Alex: I’d be more worried that she couldn’t come up with a single book title – Coal Digger
Luke (about reptile on his head): This feels so weird, what does it eat?
Jungle Tanya: Oh just little boy brains
Alex: Well, at least Luke has nothing to worry about – Fizbo
EW compiled the 15 picks for the show’s funniest lines — so far.
Here are our favorites:
”I’m sort of like Costco — I’m big, I’m not fancy, and I dare you to not like me.” — Cameron (episode 3)
”Our son is not weird. What’s weird is that her kid wears aftershave and dresses like a count.” — Claire, about Manny (episode 5)
”That was hardly porn; it was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.” — Phil (episode 12)
”I have to get old…. You don’t have to get fat.” —Phil to Gloria, on Valentine’s Day (episode 15)
What is your favorite quote of the season?
Another great episode for Modern Family (well every episode till now was great…). Here are some quotes for you:
Mitchell: “Why is our daughter dressed like Donna Summer?”
Cameron: “She is not Donna Summer, clearly she is Diana Ross from the RCA years. How is Daddy not seeing that?”
Mitchell: “I am fun! Remember breakfast for dinner last week? My idea.”
Gloria: “Batman doesn’t get picked on and he wears a cape. A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around.”
Jay: “Batman doesn’t get picked on because he’s a muscular genius. Manny can’t make it to the top bunk.”
What was your favorite quote?
- Dad, you’re really close to ruining gay for me
- Do you ? Do you?
- Why does she look like the hamburglar
- I mean I’m no Erik Estrada…
“I gave her a present, and she gave me a hint” – Cameron
And of course the whole Dylan song.
What were your favorite quotes?
And here is “I got Gloria” for you
Two of TV Addict’s quotes of the week are from Modern Family and they were two of our favorites too!
And you can see the clips with these quotes in our previous entry.