Modern Family Quotes
Season 1, Episode 5: “Coal Digger”:
Gloria: Who’s side are you on?
Jay: She’s my daughter, you’re my wife. Let’s remember what’s important, there’s a football game on today
Season 1, Episode 4: “The Incident”
Gloria: Jay, I’m home. Did Manny call?
Jay: No, because he’s fine. It was a slumber party, not a gang fight.
Jay: What’s up!
Mitchell: Uh, well you know, uh, moms in town.
Jay: Your mom?
Mitchell: No, no your mom. She’s back from the grave. Yes, yes my mom, dad.
Jay: My mom would be less scary
Gloria: I’m taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there’s a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me
Season 1, Episode 3: “Come Fly With Me”
Alex: So did you ever kiss another girl?
Gloria: That’s no way to talk to your grandmother
Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn’t want to hang out with his girlfriend’s dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I’m all about taking it to the next level.
Claire: Really? I thought you were all about keeping it real.
Phil: Yes, but the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. Did you really not know that?
Season 1, Episode 2: “The Bicycle Thief”
Jay: 90 percent of being a dad is just showing up
Jay: The only way his dad is like superman is that he landed in this country illegally
Season 1, Episode 1: “Pilot”
Gloria: We’re very different, he’s from the city, he has big big business and I come from a small village, very poor but very very beautiful. It is the number one village in all Colombia for all the, what’s the word?
Gloria: Yes, the murders